


Cause you are my home

by ThatWALKERKid



Category: Motherland: Fort Salem (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Moments, Raylla, Soft Raelle Collar, Soulmates, after season finale, cinnamon roll baby Necro, inspired by a song I am in love with, troubled raelle collar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:20:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24624619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatWALKERKid/pseuds/ThatWALKERKid
Summary: Raelle collar feels safe, and home on the beaches of Scylla Ramshorn’s love. It envelops her, guides her, keeps her whole... even on the bad days.. and boy are there bad days.
Relationships: Raelle Collar/Scylla Ramshorn
Comments: 13
Kudos: 134





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic came out of me listening to a song I’ve recently listened too. It’s called Control by Zoe Wees. 
> 
> Not sure where it’s going or if it’s any good but here we go  
> I hope you enjoy.

* * *

“Early in the morning I still get a little bit nervous  
Fightin' my anxiety constantly, I try to control it  
Even when I know it's been forever I can still feel the spin  
Hurts when I remember and I never wanna feel it again”

* * *

**_The ground seemed to erupt beneath her. Black top rained down on her and the heat of flames licked at her skin; breath heavy in her chest, ears pierced with a constant ringing and her vision pricked with a blinding light. She shook her head trying to cleat the fog pressing down on her; the world dipped and spun and fell in on itself. The crumpled road bit into her cheek as she lay face down onto its seemingly slick surface. It made Private Collar frown. Road wasn't slick, it wasn't raining, so why did she feel like it was wet? Urging her arms to move, her hand came into view in front of her face, its skin battered and torn and covered in blood. She knew she was injured, the broken bones in her body screamed and the open wounds begged her to close them.  
_ **

**_With as much energy as she could muster, she rolled onto her back, the sky above her swam into view and she had to fight the urge to throw up as her stomach clenched and her brain screamed at the pain she was in. She tried taking a deep breath to calm herself , to gather her wits but only managed to suck in a little air before a piercing pain purged her of any will to move, her chest constricting, her lungs refusing to expand into the cavity of her rib cage. A hot tear slid its way down her cheek from the corner of her eye, the pain exorcising itself anyway it could. Clenched fists pushed against the ground in spite of everything her brain was commanding her body to do. She had to get up, she couldn't stay on the ground, she knew that, she had to get to the others… there were still others… weren't there? She could hear faint voices and cries to help but the ringing in her ears muffledeven her own voice as she screamed out…_ **

Raelle sat bolt upright.

Her chest heaving with the remnants of a dream she’d had before and knew she’d have again; fists grasping painfully at the sheet slung over her lap as she let her knees relax back down. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath, allowing it to fill her lungs to capacity, to fill every space inside of her. As she let it out slowly, a gentle hand slid around her waist and another came to rest on her chest, just above her heart; lips butterflied across her shoulder before a chin fit the space made for it there.

“ _I’m sorry..”_

The words fell from her lips, dejected and apologetic; this wasn't the first time this had happened.

Scylla Ramshorn shook her head gently and urged her girlfriend to lay back down. Raelle slid back into the safe space of the pillows and Scylla’s side as she held herself above her, resting on an elbow to be able to look at her.

“ _The explosion again?”_

It wasn't accusatory. It was never an accusation. Raelle had a few different things that clouded her mind in her sleep and tormented her into the night. All she could do was nod slightly and let the calming tones of Scylla’s eyes coat her with a stillness she could always count on. This must have been a more sedate episode; at times Raelle had awoken to Scylla holding her down, or laying on top of her to calm her as she thrashed and screamed. 

The last time she had retuned from the front lines, she had requested her quarters be moved to a lesser used part of the base as the nightmares and her episodes had become more intense, people were starting to talk. To be honest she didnt really care about anyone else. Her mind had constantly battled with the fact that she could hurt Scylla, that in her nightmare state she could do something unthinkable.

“ _You’re okay. I’m here.”_

The almost whisper floated through her, settling her chest, the ache in her bones, the restlessness of her brain. The soft hands on her neck and cheek grounding her, allowing her to let the dream fade away; she could feel the tendrils of dread and helplessness treating into the darkest parts of her, silent until their next meeting. Raelle bit her bottom lip as she continued to look up at her girlfriend, her chin wobbled as she fought to keep herself together.

Scylla leant down and kissed her, pouring everything she had into the breaking woman beneath her. Many a night had ended this way, with Raelle’s wounds threatening to swallow her whole, threatening to take her from Scylla again.

There was no way that was happening.

Scylla had lost Raelle once and she was going to be damned if she let it happen again.

Pulling back she wiped at the tears tracking their way down her cheeks, ignoring the self annoyed look printed on the blondes face as she swallowed thickly, trying to cover her emotions back up. Raelle’s hands slipped to Scylla’s hips, fingers grazing the soft skin there underneath the tank she wore; thumbs skating across in intricate patterns, Scylla wouldnt even begin to understand.

_“You know I love you right?”_

Scylla smiled down at her and then pursed her lips like she was in thought.

“ _Hmmm_..”

Raelle grabbed her hips and flipped them over so that she was now the one leaning over Scylla.

“ _Ms Ramshorn I do believe you are meant to say yes when your girlfriend asks that typ’a thing,”_

Scylla smiled even brighter, if Raelle had thought it possible.

She nodded of course she knew Raelle loved her. It was in everything she did. The way she opened doors for her, the way she defended her when other people had bad things to say about her; the way she balled the front of Scylla’s shirt in her fist in her sleep, trying to get closer and closer to her.

“ _I’ve always loved you Rae… always.”_

It had been hard to admit in the beginning, not just because she was spree but because she was a dodger. They didnt get attached. They couldnt. Things changed and they went away and it had been a force of nature to get herself out of feeling that way.

Scylla smiled as Raelle’s lips touched hers, her breath hitching as Raelle shifted her thigh, settling between her legs, a strong hand gripped the back of her neck, gently massaging the muscles there. A soft moan escaped Scylla’s lips and Raelle eagerly swallowed it. It was one of her favourite sounds in the entire world and she would never tire of being the one that got to elicit it from Scylla and in that moment wanted to hear it again.

She shifted her thigh closer to her girlfriends centre as a hand slipped under the hem of her shirt, tugging on it, begging its removal. Scylla smiled into Raelle’s lips and helped remove the offending garment. Raelle sat up to rake her eyes over Scylla’s now bare chest; also something she never wanted to get used to or wanted to ever stop seeing. Her skin felt like silk and Raelle took every opportunity to paint masterpieces upon it, and this time was no different. Slightly calloused fingers danced from dipped collar bones, through the valley of her breasts, and over taut abdominal muscles; marvelling at how they twitched and followed her touch as she made her may back up with butterfly kisses.

Raelle breathed in the earthy scent that was uniquely Scylla; morning mist mixed with moss and soil. She paid the canvas before her every bit of her attention; gentle strokes, searching tongues and gentle nipping teeth, marking the territory she’d fight to the death for. Scylla allowed Raelle explorations; hands laid gently on her neck, or gripping a bicep depending on the fever with at which Raelle was exploring. This morning’s inspection of her had been slow and deliberate, a worshiping of sorts. Scylla gently tugged on Raelle to bring her face towards her, she needed to see her, to look at what she had almost lost once upon a time, to show her that she was right there with her, always.

The early morning sun had begun to streak its way across the sky and haloed Raelle in a warm glow; blonde braided hair igniting like the first embers of a fire. It made Scylla smile, the light reaching her eyes as she urged her love down to meet her lips. It was slow, but purposeful and would have turned into more if the blaring alarm sitting on the desk in the corner of the room hadn't begun to scream into the space around them.

“ _Ugh… Why??“_

Raelle slumped down onto Scylla, her face finding the home of Scylla’s neck.

Scylla giggled and scratched softly at the hair at the base of Raelle’s neck.

The sound continued to echo around the room until with great protest, Raelle dragged herself away from the warmth of her bed and the arms of her girlfriend. The wooden floor creaked slightly as she tiptoed towards the affronting sound. Scylla defiantly ogled the blonde as she did so; a delicious sight of boy shorts and tank top was not something she was going to let slip by unnoticed. The room fell quiet and Raelle sighed deeply as she scratched at the top of her back, stretching as she went.

“ _Weren’t we gonna run away?_ ”

She turned back to look at Scylla who had rolled onto her side and propped an elbow under her head to watch the show she knew was about to happen; she loved watched Raelle getting dressed, albeit not as much as watching her get undressed but she would take anything she was given. Scylla smiled pensively back at her, knowing that this was Raelle’s way of distracting herself from the day ahead.

Raelle opened the closet and rooted around for her dress uniform under Scylla’s watchful eyes.

“ _The beach would be a better option than what I’m doing today.”_

Scylla wanted to be able to tell her what she wanted to hear, to say the right thing that would make everything better, but she knew she couldn't and saying nothing was a better option than making everything worse. She continued to watch Raelle replace items of clothing until she was about to put her jacket on, until she saw her grip on the material tighten and her chest begin to heavy with restricted breaths. Faster than she thought possible, Scylla was out of bed and standing face to face with Raelle, cradling her face in both of her hands, forcing her to look at her.

“ _Look at me. I’m here… You’re here. Everything else is just noise. You are so powerful Raelle. You’re special.. and mine and… I love you.”_

Raelle looked into Scylla’s eyes and began to feel her chest loosen and the grip on her jacket falter. She nodded and blew a shaky breath through her lips and allowed Scylla to take the item of clothing from her.

_“I hate this Scyl.._ ”

Scylla helped her into the jacket and nodded as she began to do the buttons up.

“ _I know. Its just apart of you sometimes Rae. Nothing wrong with it… at all. You’re allowed to not be 100 percent, especially with everything you’ve been through. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for and these moments… are just that… moments. They don't define you. You Raelle Collar, will not be defined by anyone or anything.”_

Raelle pulled at the bottom of the jacket attempting to remove invisible creases.

“ _Except you… always you.”_

The words were soft and perfect and Scylla’s heart clenched as she soaked in the ramifications of them. She stepped back and allowed Raelle to lace up her combat boots before drawing her back in by the waist, interlocking her fingers in the small of her back, kissing her soundly as the first bell sounded in the grounds outside.

“ _The beach will always wait for you.”_

Raelle squeeze Scylla’s hip in acknowledgement to what that meant. It was Scylla telling her that she was her safe space, her freedom and that no matter what she would always be the place Raelle could rest, where she could build a home. Raelle reluctantly turned away from Scylla and headed to the door and to the day filled with meetings and brass and intelligence she didnt want to know about, plans she didnt want any part of if it meant she was going to be deployed again. 

Reaching for the handle, her palm began to it. She turned her hand over to look and saw the carefully crafted S ghosting onto her skin. Her heart hammered in her chest and felt tears try their hand at welling in the corners of her eyes as she turned and in 4 strides made it back over to Scylla, a bruising kiss colliding into Scylla’s waiting, pliant lips.


	2. What once was is again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hands clamoured over her and pressed into her chest; pain rocketing through her, the blood on her uniform squelching and coating the hands trying to hold her together. 
> 
> Scylla’s hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all those who have read and kudos’d and commented. Y’all giving me life. 
> 
> Please enjoy and let me know what you think. 
> 
> I look forward to having y’all yell at me for this pain. 
> 
> Hit me up here or on twitter @theQueerwriter

* * *

The room was almost full to the brim with people, which Raelle thought wasn't hard with the biddies crowding around General Alder where ever she went. She settled at the back of room against the wall, trying to draw as little attention to herself as possible which was harder these days after having come back from the dead; everyone knew who she was. She spotted Anacostia from her position and gave a curt nod which was returned to her with the hint of a smile. The meeting hadn't started yet and the room was a buzz with conversation; it shifted through her like the weather the blasters used to clear paths and destroy enemies. It reminded her of the day she’d met Scylla.

**The wind howled in front of her, whipping at the lose strands of hair hanging by her face. The funnel clouds before her bit and spat and destroyed everything in their paths. Raelle felt her chest swell with the power of them, with the destruction they left in their wake; rock crumbled, earth shattered, the air filled with dust and victory. She was lost in thought, wondering what it would be like to wield that kind of power when seemingly out of nowhere,.**

**“Sounds like a freight train. Who knew wind could cut rock. Wouldn’t mind learning to do that!”**

**Raelle turned sharply as the words echoed in her ears, surprised and intrigued by the newcomer. But as quickly as she’d turned to look her gaze was back to the spectacle before them; a vein of disgust beginning to seep its darkness into her as thoughts tumble and crashed in her mind.**

“ **Yeah, well with my luck, I’ll wind up a medic like my mom. Didn’t work out so well for her.”**

**She didn’t mean to come off indignant but a sheen of hurt and sadness and loss coated her and everything she seemed to touch. The girl stood beside her, a small smile playing on her perfect lips, a silence building between them. It wasn’t an uncomfortable sort per se but raelle felt exposed and unsure as to why she had just shared that part of her so freely, to someone she didn’t even know. The air shifted and Raelle glimpsed her in the periphery of her vision, enticing an excitement to gnaw at the pit of her stomach**

**“Shouldn’t you be in training?”**

**It was a cloaking mechanism, a way to distract herself and others from the impending questions about herself she knew were coming. It was also a buffer to the confidence exuding from the brunette, who took a moment to ponder the question, a hint of a playful smile pulling at her lips as her eyes locked with Raelle’s.**

**“Shouldn’t you?”**

**Raelle almost scoffed at the how blatantly self assured the question was; pot meet kettle.**

**She turned back towards the chain link fence trying to hide the smirk imprinting it’s way into her lips.**

**Touché, Dark hair.**

**Trouble.**

**It was then that, from thin air, 3 witches were demanding their medals, and sending them on their way to demerits from drill sergeants who wouldn’t be too impressed; raelle wasn’t impressed either, so that made them even.**

**“They were loads of fun...”**

**Sarcasm dripped from laced words as they both watched the newcomers leave.**

**“Yeah, I hear they do birthday parties.”**

**Deadpan and as much bravado as Raelle was going to muster to try and break the tension inside of her, to quell the rising tide of unwanted nerves.**

**A small but joyous chuckle filtered through the air between the pair and Raelle felt the tension in her shoulders lessen; a smile echoing her own reflected back at her.**

**“Walk you back?”**

**Raelle wasn’t sure what she was doing but felt like she needed to spend more time in the company of this girl.**

**“I’m Scylla...”**

The smile pulling at the corner of Raelle’s lips at the memory soured and pain knitted her brow together; the edges of the room began to blur and twist and dissolve. The air was caught in her lungs, her throat squeezing painfully as a burning pain ripped through her chest. The room seemed to have gone quiet, all commotion brought to a standstill as she looked down at her chest, the front of her dress uniform over her heart a mess of blood and ripped fabric. The tang of iron hit her nostrils as the remains of a shaky breath left her lips and her knees hit the ground, her body crumpling under its own weight to the hardwood floor below.

Her ears began to ring, slamming her auditory senses back into reality and the concerned faces appearing above her. Tears pricked the corner of her eyes as the face she’d woken up beside came into view, pushing past everyone else to be right there with her. Raelle smiled up at Scylla, a bloodstained toothy grin at the love of her life.

She wasn’t sure she should be smiling but that’s what Scylla did to her; made the world warmer, brighter and happier. That’s all Raelle could ask for, to be happy, to make Scylla happy and that they could be together despite of everything.

Hands clamoured over her and pressed into her chest; pain rocketing through her, the blood on her uniform squelching and coating the hands trying to hold her together.

Scylla’s hands.

* * *

She could have stayed in that moment forever.

Face held in strong, purposeful hands.

Lips pressed against soft, searching ones.

Heart beating out the rhythm of her love against the cage of her ribs, threatening to burst with every second.

But Scylla knew Raelle had to go. She was needed in a meeting with some brass and important soldiers; she wasn’t privy as to why but could sense that it had something to do with the powers Raelle had begun to display, and the effort to defeat the Camarilla.

She gently squeezed Raelle’s hip as the second round of bells began to toll across the base. Raelle grumbled into her lips, pulling back reluctantly, resting their foreheads together. Scylla smiled and looked her girlfriend in the eyes; the bright blues sparkling like the crystal waters of far away lands. Raelle inched back and grasped her chin drawing her in for another slow kiss; a one for the road, I’ll see you later, I love you kiss.

And just like that Raelle was gone, the door clicking shut, the thud of her boots echoing off into the distance down the hall.

The sun had risen over the trees that partially blocked their room from prying eyes of the rest of the base and Scylla took a moment to stand in its yellow brilliance, letting its warmth filter through her, into her chest, into her muscles and bones; into her soul. She smiled as a wolf whistle echoed up from down below and she peered down to see Raelle slowly walking backwards, looking up at her; a smile etched onto her lips, its brightness meeting her eyes. Scylla watched as she turned and kept walking, disappearing out of her eye line between the old brick and mortar that made up the buildings on Fort Salem.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Scylla scanned the room. Her eyes collecting inventory on everything that was uniquely them.

Raelle’s patchwork blanket draped over the back of a chair in the corner of the room; the one she’d wrap herself in whenever Raelle wasn’t there.

The collection of different books lined up along the desk; the ones she’d find Raelle nose deep in whenever she came back to the room, a gentle concentration frown on her face.

The combat charms that hung from the lamp next to the bed; linked together by chain until they were needed again, something Scylla hoped would never be.

They didn’t have much, but everything they did have was in each other. It had been a hard road to walk and Scylla knew that she’d made so many mistakes, ones that almost lost Raelle to her forever.

Now… she’d do anything and everything she could to keep her girl alive, safe and happy for as long as Raelle would have her.

She continued to stare at the bower birds foot that made up Raelle’s combat charm; handed down from generation to generation of Collar women.

An uneasiness ebbed and flowed in the pit of her stomach at the thought of how much blood it had been coated with, at how much death and destruction it had seen. She knew death, dallied in it daily, had given others over to it, but she also knew life. Created it from the end of things.

Life becomes death, which becomes life again.

But it was so much more. It was a connection to everything on a molecular level.

She could feel deaths workings.

It’s desires.

…. It’s intentions.

Her breath caught in her throat and her heart hammered painfully in her chest as the cold tendrils of the underworld wormed their way into her mind. Her hands gripped at the edge of the mattress, knuckles turning bone white as a pressure built in her head.

Something wasn’t right.

Scylla hissed as her eyes slammed shut against the rising swell crashing against every part of her being; her mind struggling to make sense of the images flooding her every sense.

Steel.

Blood.

The ground.

Blonde hair.

Blue eyes, terror filled.

Scylla’s eyes flew open, every synapse firing as she pieced the images together.

Raelle…

Her bottom lip trembled as a wave of despair, pain and sadness washed over her. The room began to spin, threatening to break the tenuous levy inside that held her together. She forced air into her lungs and shook her head to clear her vision. Something was happening with Raelle and Scylla needed to find her.

She scrambled to pull on her trainers, throwing on Raelle’s red flannel over the top of her grey tank and sweat pants.

Faster than she thought possible, she was out of their room and sprinting across the base.

The wind whipped at her free flowing hair and the flannel as her arms pumped and she willed her legs to move faster. She had to get to where Raelle was. Scylla wasn't sure what was happening but couldn't shake the darkness that continued to sweep over her; the terror that filled her, the smell of impending death invading her nostrils. It was something she was all to familiar with and it gnawed at her insides, clawing and eviscerating her every nerve ending.

Her legs burned along with her lungs as she weaved in and out of a group of cadets marching towards the days training; their naivety and unconcern for what they didn’t know smashing Scylla full force as she navigated through them and up the steps to the administration building.

Ripping the door open and practically stumbling inside. Scylla sucked in a few deep breaths to abate the fire coursing through her. She hadn’t really thought about why she’d come to this building. Raelle could have been anywhere on base.

The rough room.

The necro building.

Out in the grounds.

Anywhere.

But something had drawn her here; a magnetic pull that had grabbed hold of her as the images flashed in her mind and she sprinted out of her room.

The halls were quiet here.

No cadets milling about. Hushed tones bounced off the hardwood floors and history lined walls.

Alders office was there; maybe thats what had drawn her. Alder was all over the base, her youth presenting itself in everything Scylla could see and feel.

And the war room…. THE WAR ROOM.

Scylla ran to the end of the hallway, turning left to where she knew the giant double, metal studded doors would be. They seemed almost out of place in the confines of the elegance that presented the centuries old building; all dark mahogany and sacrifices. The door stood open a fraction and the voices within seemed to meld together, a cacophony of sound that Scylla didnt care much for.

Yanking it open and ignoring the glances from those nearest her, focus on finding the one person she was there to see. Scanning the room, Scylla finally locked onto Raelle.

Pain contorted her beautiful features. Terror awash in her blue eyes, reflecting Scylla’s open as she watched Raelle crash painfull to her knees then onto her back on the floor, out of her view.

“ _Raelle!!!!_ ”

The room fell deathly silent as Scylla pushed her way through the throng of people to get to Raelle.

Scylla felt bile rising in the back of her throat as she noted the blood coating the front of Raelle’s uniform from a wound on her chest. She pressed her hands firmly onto Raelle’s chest, causing the blonde to wince in pain.

“ _Scyl?… “_

Scylla shook her head, tears coating her eyes as she looked down at her.

“ _Don’t try to talk…”_

Raelle smiled up at her again.

_“My shirt… lolooks good.. on ya..”_

The room seemed to be frozen in time to Scylla but it had been mere seconds until Anacostia was by her side.

“ _Ramshorn, we need to get her to medical.!”_

Scylla didn’t register her words at first, too lost in the ocean blues staring back at her.

Raelle coughed causing blood to spatter over her lips and run out of the corner of her mouth.

“ _We have to go now SCYLLA.”_

Like a bolt of lightening had struck her, she nodded and let Anacostia scoop Raelle up in her arms, and make her way out of the room, which had mostly cleared, save for Alder and her biddies.

Scylla glared at the woman, standing silently by at the side of the room, no apparent concern evident; a look of intrigue imprinted on her face and no sense that she was going to follow Scylla out of the room and over to medical to see what was happening.

As she followed Anacostia into the infirmary, the large open spaced area, lined with beds, seemed colder than she had thought it previous. The chill bit at her bones but she pushed it out of her mind as Raelle was placed down onto one of the beds. Anacostia turning to her.

“ _Ramshorn, I need you to get Izadora.”_

Scylla’s eyes burned and her face scrunched in disbelief.

_“Im not going anywhere. I need to be here with her.”_

Anacostia stepped up to her, a gentleness she’d never known her to have emanating around them.

“I _know you love her… but if we don't do something soon she will die. You know Izadora, she can help Collar.”_

Scylla’s gaze fell onto Raelle and the medics tending to her. Raelle’s eyes were slightly hooded and she hissed as they removed her dress jacket.

_“I’s okay Scyl. I’ll be fine. Go get Iz’dora.”_

The world felt like it was crumbling beneath her. Everything she had promised Raelle was slipping through her fingers.

Her blood. Soaked. Fingers. Raelle’s blood.

She looked back up at Anacostia with a steely gaze.

“ _If anything happens to her while I'm gone… I will see to it that this whole place burns.”_

Anacostia knew it was no idle threat and simply nodded.

Scylla, once again, found herself sprinting across the grounds of Fort Salem and into the necro building, descending the stairs two at a time. The last time she had been down into the depths of the necro building had been when Anacostia and Izadora had held her captive, tortured her, made Raelle believe that nothing they had was real but as she jogged along the concrete hallway, her legs came to a jarring stop at the open door, seeing the back of Izadora’s frame.

“ _Izadora you need to come quick, Raelle needs…”_

Her voice trailed off as she stepped up beside her former teacher, who’s trembling hand was extended towards the wall.

It looked odd to Scylla, its normal white glow replaced with blotchy patches of grey. Scylla frowned as she looked it over and to the mass of red seeping onto the floor below. Crouching down she touched the substance with her already bloodied fingers; renewing its sheen with more blood once again.

“ _It’s dying…”_

Scylla stood back up quickly and turned to Izadora, who seemed to gaze through her.

_“So is Raelle…”_

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos, comments and love are all appreciated and warm my poor Raylla deprived heart! Feel free to hit me up here or on twitter by @theQueerwriter
> 
> All the vibes.
> 
> XX Mel xx


End file.
